They call it loneliness.
Isn't it just simply charming how sometimes life is thrown into perspective from a birds-eye glance at your life? It's especially great when you see just how deeply shallow you've been. [Not a oxymoron, a fact]. And then you come spiraling down back to Earth and suddenly you want to make a change. So you become vegetarian. Or you meditate. Or you decide to drink 75% of your body weight in slushies from Sonic. But - no matter how ridiculous, bizarre, or stupid it may be - it is a change that you want to do for the love of your own sanity.
But does that change help? Does associating trouble in your life to meat make you not want the meat anymore? Does connecting the burning of wax to the layers of wrong in your life make you want to burn the candle faster? Or does it make you want that thing - a boy, a friend, a social status, a grade - even more?
The human mind is a most fascinating thing. You take a situation that you know the odds of you getting what you want is a 0. There is simply no question that it will happen, but yet you want it over all possessions that you already have. You would trade anything to have that object because it is exactly what you cannot have. Isn't that just the exact opposite of what we are entitled to be? But yet, this attitude has been going on since the creation of man.
So, what is this feeling? Are we really feeling? Or are we as shallow as the members of Jonas' community {The Giver}?
There are times when I feel like The Receiver and I am staring into a world of color, yet the others around me are looking into black, white, and grey. I feel as if I carry the pain and they just indifferently live. It is because they know no other way. At least that's what I keep telling myself.
Regards,
-R.A.B
